masto.kukei.eu real time mastodon search engine

RE: https://ard.social/@tagesschau/117426507144082738

Sollen sie doch Brot anbauen.... 🤡

THE FROST COVERS UP WHAT THE SLOTH BIRD BROUGHT

#MES #TheFall

DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG
DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG

How mony different weys cin ye explain sumhin tae sumbdy thit husny goat a dinky whit yer oan aboot?

Such as: Ma routers no workin, this means thit it disnae wurk, the hings broken, cream crackered, goosed, buggered, banjoed, paggered, totalled,
it's hud it's chips.

"So whits wrang wae it?" Wis ther answer

It's fucked, dae ye want me tae spell that fur ye?.. Foxtrot.. Uniform.. Charlie.. Kilo.. Echo.. Delta.... Knackered

Ur you mibbes an AI person ah'm talkin tae here? 🤔😳😁

„Bevor Sie aussteigen, achten Sie bitte darauf, dass Sie alle Ihre Armseligkeiten bei sich haben“

Ich glaube, ich bin noch nicht wach.

This Teams-Meeting could have been a game of Golf.

Niewiele rzeczy tak odbiera wiarę w ludzkość, jak dołączenie do przedszkolnej grupy dla rodziców na WhatsAppie.

Oczywiście miała być tylko do przekazywania ważnych informacji, więc właśnie trwa festiwal kto fajniejszego tańczącego psa wygeneruje przez AI.

PSA an alle die in englischsprachigen Publikationen immer nur vom Citroën 2CV lesen:

Gemeint ist die Ente.

Oh, Wukooooong!~

Just got 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

#jokeoftheday #homegym

Purveyors of this thread who are old enough to remember Mr. Hand from "My Favorite Martian", appearing adjacent to "Mr. Ed"

should give yourselves permission to do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of the week

Verschuldeter Wasservogel:

Die Insolvente 🦆

Per la prima volta in autobus non mi alzo per cedere il posto, la mia barba bianca mi autorizza. Si alzino altri.

DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG DONG
DONG DONG DONG DONG

XD policja jest śmieszna, 5 raz dzwonią w sprawie drona. Ile można!?!

Look at this guy sleeping without a worry in the world. He went out the other day before dinner, stayed out all night, came back at noon, dropped another dead rat on our balcony and then went straight for the couch.

#CatsOfMastodon

your ass becomes an arse

your house becomes a cottage that can only be repaired by specialised workmen

your city becomes a town with a name that sounds like someone making fun of the british, some shit like sextonham. nobody will believe you that sextonham is real

everything is quaint

everything is vaguely menacing

like a kitten that may or may not tear off your flesh, or a cop going “wots all this then”

quaint until it isn’t

Strictly leggings palettes. Shipping vinyl from San Jose. Pure before they sold out energy. Should and bathe, always hammock.

　　　　　🐡　　　　
　　　　　　　　　 🐡
　　 🐟　　　　　　　
　 🐡　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　
　　　🌾　🌿　🌿🌾🌿

you will grow more math

you will stop using the letter z in almost all circumstances but you will also give it the adorable nickname of zed

your car will become reasonable

you will learn to encrypt your speech by changing accents